| | First
we defined what the dark night of the soul is and how it is often a
part of our spiritual journeys. Then we looked at how many of the
cliches we’ve come to spout fall short of being any kind of actual
balm. Next we turn to what do we have to offer the person whose life
has been blown to crap. For the answer to that, I am going to pillage
without apology from an article written by a friend of mine, Rich Vincent, appropriately called “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
There are two movements of the dark night. The first is called “The
Dark Night of the Senses”. The Psalmist says it best “Darkness is my
only friend.” This is a dangerous time because there’s nothing worse
than being alone with your thoughts. Your mind becomes your worst
enemy:
-you feel lost
-you feel abandoned by God
-you feel alone
-no one understands what you’re going through
-you
try all of those familiar spiritual practices which had worked so well
for you in the past, but now they only leave you exhausted. You’re
prayer life seems impotent, you get no pleasure or answers.
-the harder you try, the worse it seems
-and because of this, you may feel like you’re backsliding
And
it sucks. If we’re being honest, the only thing we can do is encourage
one another to persevere, it whatever form that takes. A regular on my
message board, in responding to why cliches don’t cut it, said that “In
my experiences, cliches are sometimes dusted off and trotted to me in
lieu of actually interacting with me or joining me on the journey, with
the efficacy of a bandaid for a severe leg wound. I can't use words,
but I could use an ear, or support getting back on my feet again. God's
promises are one thing, but if you twist them into a cliche to fit a
situation rather than actually trying to be useful or comforting,
you're missing the whole point.” In her book, Stumbling Toward Faith, Renee Alston expresses her frustration this way:
“In my journey toward God, one of the greatest things I have learned is
that there is much I do not know. Sometimes that really ticks me off.
Why is it that I don’t know what’s going on here? Why isn’t there some
kind of answer for me? What kind of God lives in these “I don’t knows”?
What kind of God keeps such secrets?
“If there’s anything I’ve
learned about not knowing, it’s that it reveals the depth of my trust.
Can I trust a God who will not explain himself? Can I trust a God who
leaves me not knowing his purpose, his will? Can I trust something
beyond the pat answers, the snatched promises, the ways we quiet
ourselves when the questioning grows too strong?”
Basically,
your life feels stripped of everything and even if it hasn’t been
totally stripped, depression will do it. Depression is a natural and
necessary expression of grief and we normally experience depression
during these times. Depression isn’t lack of faith. Depression isn’t
just “the devil trying to get to you.” However, this is not the time to
get lost in your thoughts. I’m not saying that asking “why?” is bad,
I’m just saying that it will only further exhaust you. It’s an easy
trap to fall into, but ultimately a waste of time since there are no
answers to be found.
We can ask them but too often we aren’t
willing to live with questions. Questions leave us vulnerable, like
there’s something missing in our walk. There are 288 question marks in
the book of Job. Most of them are from Job and his friends. How does
God deal with their questions? Questions were His answer - 78 of the
288 are His. The net result? His questions leave us humbled, awed, and
speechless (though, to be perfectly honest, somewhat dissatisfied). St.
John of the Cross puts it this way:
The way in which they are to conduct themselves in this night of sense
is to devote themselves not at all to reasoning and meditation, since
this is not the time for it, but to allow the soul to remain in peace
and quietness, although it may seem clear to them that they are doing
nothing and are wasting their time, and although it may appear to them
that it is because of their weakness that they have no desire in that
state to think of anything. The truth is that they will be doing quite
sufficient if they have patience and persevere in prayer without making
any effort. What they must do is merely to leave the soul free and
disencumbered and at rest from all knowledge and thought, troubling not
themselves, in that state, about what they shall think or meditate
upon, but contenting themselves with merely a peaceful and loving
attentiveness toward God, and in being without anxiety, without the
ability and without desired to have experience of Him or to perceive
Him.
In other words, be quiet and hold on. It’s hard to see
any blessings going on during this phase. But during this time,
hopefully a few things will be happening: you’ll be learning a greater
fear of God and learning a deep spiritual humility. And your patience
will be increased. None of this is an easy process and these are
lessons rarely appreciated in the learning. Another way to put this is
that you gain a new sense of perspective, the problem is that this
perspective is usually from the ground since you’ve been knocked out.
Next
comes “The Dark Night of the Spirit.” Here’s the true suck part: in a
lot of ways, you are on your own. It is your soul being purified.
However, God is at work, behind the scenes of your soul, knitting you
back together without you even realizing it. The question becomes “why
would God choose to purify the soul in a way so painful and
frustrating?” It seems almost sadistic. Well, I don’t know. I’m
serious, I have no idea. It is here that we often find the limits of
our systematic theology and some would say, common sense. I would offer
that unless we’ve left room for the mysteries of God as a part of our
faith, times of crisis can become faith-shattering. We are slaves to
answers, having to know “why” and when the answers are not there, out
faith either crumbles or is re-evaluated. St. John of the Cross puts it
this way.
Why is the Divine light (which as we say, illumines and purges the soul
from its ignorances) here called by the soul a dark night? To this the
answer is that for two reasons this Divine wisdom is not only night and
darkness for the soul, but is likewise affliction and torment. The
first is because of the height of Divine Wisdom, which transcends the
talent of the soul, and in this way is darkness to it; the second,
because of its vileness and impurity, in which respect it is painful
and afflictive to it, and is also dark.
In other words,
God’s light can prove so overwhelming that it leaves us blinded, in
darkness. God works where we are and sometimes we have to be stripped
of a few things to allow Him to work. You may learn the measure of your
faith and what faith truly is. Yes, in this darkness feels like God has
forsaken you. You become aware of your own failing and things may seem
so desperate, you feel that there’s no remedy.
[to be continued]
***
I
don’t have time to always check the comments all the places where this
rant is posted. If you want to make sure that I see it or just want to
stop by and say hi, do so on my message board. I apologize in advance for some of my regulars. |
| | Posted 6/7/2006 8:35 PM - 74 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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